why does body inclusivity upset you?

Let’s talk about being fat and plus size inclusivity. This is a topic that requires a certain level of empathy, rationality, and balance. In this situation there are many truths, lies, and people in denial. You have one side that believes what they are saying is the truth and nothing but. The other side likes to lie and makes excuses to coddle their mentality and/or lifestyle. Some are in denial about the severity of how their lifestyle choices impact them while others are being bullies in the name of “health”. However, it is not my goal today to be the voice of reason for both sides. I am plus size, fat, chubby, thick, or whatever you are comfortable saying. I live in this body, and I know how it feels to have always been of a certain size and never skinny. I truly believe that at whatever size I am in life, I will always have grabbable meat lol! My goal is to be the voice of reason for plus size bodies because that is my experience. While being a big, beautiful woman, I understand that it’s vital to have an open ear and an open heart about the truth of being overweight. Let me tell you what inspired me to say all of this.

I saw a TikTok this morning. I was casually scrolling before starting my day, viewing the daily news of social media. I saw this woman ranting about another women plus size advocacy. The woman that was ranting is a comedienne and the plus size advocate is a TikTok influencer. The influencer advocates for plus sizes to be accessible in clothing stores as well as cute, plus size clothing. The comedienne ranted about how you cannot go into stores like H&M, Forever 21, and Old Navy and expect to see your size. Instead, you should leave out and say, “Oh well!” because you don’t deserve to find clothing your size at ease, and this is because you should be focused on losing weight. Let’s note that these stores supposedly practice plus size inclusivity, yet when you go there physically…yes exercise!...they have removed the sections, pushed it in the back corner of the store, or shrunk down the number of units sold. She made sure to tell the viewers that she is a size 1x and knows that she is plus size as well but made it clear that wanting to find a size 3x really is asking for a lot. I always have a laugh at plus size folks that talk down on other plus size folks. The TikTok influencer stitched her videos without response and just let them play for people to hear.

"Muses" (2024)

We’ve seen in society how bodies are treated as a trend whether you are skinny, slim-thick, thick, or fat. In the past 10 years it has been popular and more accessible to be slim-thick and thick. Because of this, it also made things easier for fat bodies to access clothing they like and receive body representation. In addition, this shined light on several body types that are within these different size groups. Not everyone is going to have an hourglass or pear-shaped figure and that’s okay, but body type advocacy is just as important as body size representation. Within the past year or so, beauty standards are slowly reverting to the Sex and the City days, the 90s and early 2000s. Then, it was a crime to have a booty and extra meat, and it seems now things have gone back to that except people do want their booties and I get it…I really do!

I got a glimpse of this comedienne’s body and its fire! As I mentioned above, she stated that she is a size 1x. By fire, I mean her fat is distributed in a way that is acceptable by society. Society loves hourglass figures. I think that it is unfair as a size 1x woman with a preferred body type to speak down on women who are bigger and/or without an “acceptable” body type who want to feel good about themselves in clothing they like. If anything, that is the bare minimum. No matter the size, race, gender, and sexuality, people should not be looked down on for what they feel comfortable in or desire to wear. Just because you wear clothing, makeup, or a hairstyle that you feel good in, does not mean being fat leaves your consciousness. I’m speaking from experience. I love the way I look, and I like my body type, but my weight is up and down. I’m a 2x and a 3x. Sometimes I fit comfortably in those sizes and sometimes it’s a struggle. I believe when you are fat or just not happy about how your body looks, a day doesn’t go by without it at least crossing your mind.

"Celestial Gal" (2024) Art by me featuring a plus sized character

So, it’s important to have balance in this conversation and more importantly in your mind. I’m not saying everything she said in the video was incorrect. Yes, you should be consuming healthy amounts of nutritious foods and practicing correct food proportions. Yes, you should be moving your body as much as you possibly can to stay mobile and lose weight if you desire. But why does it make some people so violently angry to talk about fatness and to talk about what is and isn’t fair to us?

Lastly, I get the sentiment that she is going for. Some people thrive off the fire of unfairness and injustice. It makes them want to be and do better in life. Walking into a store and not finding your size in some of the hottest clothes is disheartening. Going somewhere that you once always shopped in and finding out that they shrunk your section down to 2-3 racks of clothes in the corner is quite annoying. Stuff like this motivates some folks to say, “You know what, I don’t have to deal with this. I can just lose weight.” That’s the beauty of motivation. There’s another side to this coin though. Motivation has back stories for each person from our UNIQUE Beyonce voice, experiences. Some people thrive through having duality in their lives. I’m one of those people. I appreciate finding ways to make myself feel amazing inside and out because there is more to beauty than how you look on the outside. While I have my issues with my body, I find ways to still love me. I appreciate certain body areas while I look at others with disdain. I put on clothing that hugs my body in a way that makes me feel confident when I walk out the door.

My plus-sized body

I would think that as another plus size woman, this is something that would be understood. Some people gain motivation to do better for themselves by going through high highs and low lows. There’s a lot of mental turmoil that comes with being fat and so if finding clothing you like helps you make it from one day to another, then that isn’t a crime! Say I find a cute gym set one day at the store or online, best believe I’m going to use it somehow. I’m going to take pictures in it, go for a walk, or find somewhere to leave the house and be active. Little things like that help people be better. This truly is the bare minimum. If you have an issue with plus size inclusivity in clothing stores, let’s be honest that’s not your real gripe. You have an issue seeing fat people or you’re self-hating. You’re fatphobic.