Who Am I Anymore? Am I Being Dramatic? Are These My Period Symptoms Talking?

Part of me has been sad, worried even. I just haven’t been feeling so creative. I evaluated the problem as a simple artist block originally, but now, it’s felt like something more. I’ve created yes, but it doesn’t feel like enough. And that’s because isn’t. Not for the feeling I want to obtain that is. But what even is that? It hasn’t felt l like I’m starving, even though with this inflation…I’ll just say I’m blessed. This year I’ve felt that I haven’t been hungry enough as an artist. And by that I mean, hungry enough not to be hungry lmaooo.

But here’s the dilemma. I don’t even know what my artist dream is anymore. It’s a feeling I’ve been struggling with for the past year. It’s created feelings of guilt. I curated a list of questions for myself to evaluate that has been on my mind. 

Do I want fame/ to be recognized like I did before?

Do I believe that my art is capable of that anymore?

Has social media gotten to me?

Do I want a creative job or will that drain my will to create?

Am I too focused on making more money until it’s blocking my will to do more?

Idk what’s going on anymore. 

I don’t want to lose sight of who I am; I promised myself that I wouldn’t let the world do that to me with the one thing that I will always love. My identity is there, but it’s somewhere distant and I need her back.

So am I being dramatic? Are these feelings valid? Or are my emotions just heightened?